Friday Fun Video: Kelly Sildaru Wanted

So, it’s no secret that we love seeing the amazing things that kids can do.  Well, this video has me floored.  Kelly Sildaru, whose moves you’re about to see is only NINE.  Honestly, we both wish we could do half of the stuff that she can.  She’s amazing.  Check it out, be jealous, and then remind yourself that she’s only NINE!

Thanks to Devon for sharing this with us.  If anyone has a video they would like to see featured as a Friday Fun Video, let us know.  We will not be posting them every week, but will still do it often!  ENJOY!

Potty Training on the go

If there were one aspect of parenting I would outsource, potty training would win hands down.   I was honestly considering one of those $500 (taken out of his college savings of course) potty training boot camps with Mason just so I could stop dealing with his messes.  Seriously, it’s no fun at all and takes FOR.EV.ER.


Mason’s favorite potty training outfit.  ”Yight MaKeen” underwear and “Thonas” boots

 Did you know:
“The New York Times reported that 92% of children in 1957 were toilet trained by age 18 months.”
“On May 4, 2000 the Wall Street Journal reported that, “children now wear diapers until they are 36 to 42 months old, some 6 months longer than they did 16 years ago.”

Stats found HERE

WOW!  The age that parents are potty training their kids keeps going up and up.  While this is partly due to diapers, I think that  lot of it has to do with parent fear.  Because honestly, potty training is a scary and gross job.

Now, both of our kids were incredibly different.  Mason has always been our emotional, “I’ll do it my own way” kind of kid.  Not an awesome combination with potty training.  From start to finish, I think it was a good 6 months of hard work to get him fully trained (trained around 31 months).  Some days, he didn’t care if he had pee running down his leg or poop in his underwear.  Other times, he’d go days without an accident.  We tried to go straight into underwear and skip using pull-ups because I heard that they can be a crutch for some kids.  Well, it turns out that poopy underwear and I don’t agree (it’s so much worse than
diapers), so in the end, they were a lifesaver.  I’m pretty sure he had accidents everywhere from the park, to the produce aisle and everywhere in-between.  I think I read every book the library owned on the subject.  Needless to say, potty training Mason was a MAJOR ordeal!

Chloe was a different story.  She started asking to use the toilet at 21 months and would do okay.  By the time she turned 2, she was wearing underwear or pull-ups most of the time.  She had peeing down around that time, but it wasn’t until she was about 26 months that it all just clicked.  She still has the occasional accident, but will come and get me right away and will show me where she was when she peed (you know, so I can clean it up).  Seriously, she was a dream.  We took a really laid back approach to training her and even though it took about the same amount of time as Mason, her personality was much easier to deal with and her attitude was more willing.

Well, just because you’re potty training your kids, doesn’t mean that life as you know it has to come to a halt.  Here are a few tips that have helped us train our kids while still having some fun (because let’s face it, you’re earning it).

  1.  Know that your kids are going to have accidents.  Just because they have 3 accidents in one day doesn’t necessarily mean that they are not ready to be potty trained, it may just mean that they need more help.  Don’t give up.  Even though there are a million books out there that say you can potty train a kid in one day, don’t buy it.  Potty training is a process, which is why it is commonly called ‘potty learning’.  Think in terms of weeks or months, not days!
  2. Don’t be afraid of pull-ups.  Really, they will save your life.  I wouldn’t put them on all the time, but for outings, they can’t be beat.
  3. Always carry a change of clothes.  And I mean always.  With Mason, I had a pair of nylon windpants and underwear in my purse at all times.  With Chloe, I carry thin leggings and spare underwear.  Honestly, it doesn’t take much more room than a diaper!
  4. Go easy on your kids.  With Mason, we were so into getting him trained that we were not as compassionate as we should have been.  If I could do it again, I’d pay more attention to what he needed, instead of just what I wanted the end result to be.  Also, try and put yourself in their shoes.  Would you want to stop playing with your favorite toy to go to the bathroom, or just pee in your diaper and keep playing?  I’d pick the diaper if I were 2.
  5. Don’t become homebound.  With some kids, this means showing them where the toilet is every time you go somewhere new (like with Chloe).  Other kids need you to carry their potty chair in the back of the car because it’s so hard for them to go in a new place (Mason).  Be brave and go play, even if you are working on potty training.  I can guarantee that both you and your child will appreciate the break!  Can you imagine not doing anything seriously fun for months?  YUCK!

Remember, when it all comes down to it, that eventually it will be over.  You’ll be saving a ton on diapers, or if you’re like us, you won’t have to wash anymore cloth ones.  No one ever has to send their kindergartener to school in a diaper, so don’t dispair.  Hopefully, you’ll be able to look back at this phase and laugh (or at least not cry anymore).

A few more tips we learned that helped us through the process:

  1.  Keep them on the hard floors.  Tile and wood are your friends and carpet is your enemy.
  2. Let them be free.  Our kids both did much better naked than with underwear on.  Go figure!
  3. Send them outside.  A puddle of pee is much easier to deal with on the grass than in your bedroom.
  4. Bribes rock!
  5. Somedays, for everyone’s sanity, diapers are just fine.

Good Luck!

Photo of the Week: Cruiser

 

 

Oh 2 wheeled bliss…

Why Does Childhood Feel so Long While Adulthood Flies By?

That’s a pretty good question.   I’ve often thought about it and nostalgically looked back on my early, care free years with a jealousness for the summers that lasted forever. And yet, not so long ago, I remember a time when time seemed to stand still.  Jessica and I spent a summer in Kenya, which although only 2 and a half months, it
felt like two years.  Time was completely different than here. There was no demanding emails, “work” in our sense (although we were busy), and best of all–no electricity. When the sun went down, we just sat around and talked or went to bed.

So what makes the difference, when our day to day life is so busy and a year in my life now seems to pass as if it were just a week whereas I know for my kids, a year is an unimaginably long time? I just happened to run across some information that shed some profound light on this question, and may help us all to recapture at least in small part, that extension of time.

In reading the book Moonwalking with Einstein, Joshua Foer provides us with extensive insights into how our minds work and how memories play a part in our concept of time.

Foer refers to a 1962 experiment where Michel Siffre, a French chronobiologist (someone who studies the relationship between time and living organisms) performed a test where he tried to live “beyond time.”  He spent two months living in total isolation in a cave, without access to a clock, calendar, or sun.  Sleeping and eating only when his body told him to, he sought to discover how the natural rythems of human life would be affected without time.  Basically, he had lights, food, water and a journal.

Quickly Siffre’s memory deteriorated and his days melded into an indistinguishable jumble of guesses as to the time. With no one to talk to, nothing to do, there was nothing to make an impression on his memory.  There were no events to mark the passing of the time. At some point, Siffre stopped being able to remember what happened just the previous day.  Soon after, his sleep patterns degenerated.  Some days he was up for thirty-six hours straight, other days for just eight, with no way of determining the difference.

When Siffre’s colleagues called down to him on the scheduled day his experiment was scheduled to end, September 14, it was only August 20 in his journal.  He thought only a month had passed!

Foer makes the point—and I agree—that monotony collapses time; novelty unfolds it.

If you spend your life sitting in a cubicle and passing papers, one day is bound to blend unmemorably into the next—and disappear.  That’s why it’s important to change routines regularly, and take vacations to exotic locales, and have as many new experiences as possible that can serve to anchor our memories.  Creating new memories stretches out psychological time, and lengthens our perception of our lives.

Life seems to speed up as we get older because live gets less memorable as we get older.

In 1890, William James’ book Principles of Psychology discussed the shortening and extending of psychological time:

In youth we may have an absolutely new experience, subjective or objective, every hour of the day.  Apprehension is vivid, retentiveness strong, and our recollections of that time, like those of a time spent in rapid and interesting travel, are of something intricate, multitudinous and long-drawn-out.  But as each passing year converts some of this experience into automatic routine which we hardly note at all, the days and the weeks smooth themselves out in recollection to countless units, and the years grow hollow and collapse.


The view out my plane window

As I write this, I’m on another adventure, visiting the Land of the Midnight Sun—Alaska.  For work, I headed up to Badami Alaska, near Pruhdoe Bay, up on the Arctic Ocean.  We also stopped by Barrow, AK briefly.  To me this trip illustrates the whole idea of psychological time perfectly.  Everything on the trip was noteworthy and full of first time experiences for me. It was my first time above the Arctic Circle, first time on frozen tundra, in -58 degree weather, to the Arctic Ocean, driving on an ice road, seeing caribou, having a day without the sun coming up, and on and on. Needless to say I was excited and there were lots of interesting things to experience.

I was continually amazed at how different their world was compared mine and couldn’t get enough of the stories that everyone else shared.  In contrast, for many who had been working up there for years, it was just another day, “One day down in my two week shift.”

Another recent experience was bowling with Mason.  He couldn’t get enough of the little 5 second videos of an animated ball and pin interacting after everyone’s turn.  He was more interested in that then in the actual game.  Small things that most of us don’t even notice anymore are part of the reason that a child’s time frame extends far longer than our own.

As I consider the implications that these insights have on me as an adult—specifically as a parent—I consider the aspects of my life that are in the doldrums and those that excite me and ultimately, keep my time extending. Planning, anticipating, and loving adventures are huge on my list of ways to stretch time out and make your life more memorable. I also loving meeting new people, overcoming challenges, and watching my kids discover new aspects of the world for the first time.  Their wonder rubs off on me, and hopefully in the mix, makes my life more memorable and extends my minutes a little longer.  Here’s to getting out of the cave and making life into one adventure after another, even if it is just as simple as bowling.

 

My Doctor said I can’t ski…I said yeah right!

Don’t you just love it when people tell you what you can and cannot do?  Argh!  It’s completely infuriating and it’s been happening nonstop to me for the last several months.  See, I’m pregnant with baby #3 (a boy due in May) and EVERYONE seems to know what’s best for me.  
Even people who I barely know…

Like on my first Doctors appointment in the fall when I was talking with my doctor.  She’d just given me the run down on pregnancy (since after having 2 other kids, I must be totally clueless) and then as I was walking out, she said “oh and of course, no skiing or snowboarding”.  

I had to sit back down in my chair because I knew this would be a while “well that’s really not going to happen”  I told her.  She went on to explain the risks to me,  which basically where that if I were to fall, I could injure the baby.  I then went on to tell her that I’m a very competent skier and I would either be skiing black runs (where the likelyhood of someone else crashing into me is minimal) or I would be skiing beginner runs with few crowds with my kids.  Basically, we had to agree to disagree because neither one of us was really willing to budge.

This experience has made me think a lot about knowing my own limits.  I feel like I’m well aware of what I am capable of and also what I cannot do.  I know where my skills and abilities lie and also when I’ve reached the point that I need to stop pushing myself so hard.  

It is utterly frustrating when I see set rules that only take into account one aspect of a person’s life.  Seriously, pregnancy is a big one of these.  No skiing, no rides at the amusement park, no waterslides…the list could go on FOR…EV…ER.  The part that’s even more frustrating is that many of these activities set no limits on if I were to take an infant on them.

The same is true on the other side of the spectrum.  Just because someone says that you are allowed to do something, doesn’t mean that you should.  If you are a beginning skier, jumping off a cliff is not a smart move.  Sure, no one said that you can’t do it, but based on your abilities and skills, I’d argue that it might be a tad outside of your limits.

Risk and ability assessment are vital to adventure.  Life is full of risks.  Each of us have the right and responsibility to determine what risks are appropriate for us.  In my case, being aware of my skills and also being cautious of dangerous situations that may harm the baby are incredibly important.  However, that does not make me doomed to walk around the block as my only means of physical activity for the next 4 months.

This is equally important as we take our kids on adventures.  Knowing, what we can and cannot do within our own limits, is essential.  Pushing our limits too far, can easily create a disaster with our children being put at risk.

Don’t get me wrong.  I understand perfectly why there are ‘rules’ about who can and cannot do something.  I’m just saying that along with there are some things that are “more like guidelines”, or exceptions to the rules based on ability, skill, and experience.  

I know my limits, so please, let me decide what I want to do.

Photo of the Week: My Perfect Day

I’ve been dreaming of this day since I became a Mom, almost 5 years ago.  The day that I could just take off with my kids and go skiing while Andrew slaves away at work.  Last week, we finally did it.  It was incredible and we look forward to many Mom + Kids ski days to come (gotta pack as much in before Mason starts kindergarten).

Okay, in reality, the day was far from perfect (crying, blowing snow, super cold, slow drive), but that’s how I’m choosing to remember it!

 

First Day of Ski School

Well, Mason just had his first day of ski school.  He was crazy excited about it and reminded me of Nemo from Finding Nemo.

He was talking about it for days beforehand and nonstop on the drive up there.  Of course when he met his teacher, he was suddenly shy and reserved.

So I know that we’ve talked here before about the importance of ski school, but honestly have not followed our own advice until now.  Since Andrew and I both have taught ski school before, we have just relied on our previous experience and have been teaching Mason and Chloe on our own.  However, since January is “Learn to Ski Month” we decided to check out the lesson program at A-Basin and see what they had to offer.  Thankfully, we (and Mason) were not disappointed.

We decided to put Mason in the Little Legends program where he will meet three times and have the same teacher and class each time.  This week, since there was a storm that hit the night before, the drive up was bad and several kids didn’t make it.  For Mason, that meant a one-on-one lesson all day.  BONUS!  I think that was great for him because then the teacher could just focus on him and what he needs to learn.  However, we are hoping that the other boy in this class comes this week so he has a little ‘competition’.

This week, his teacher was working on getting him out of his wedge and lining up his skis more.  She did a great job working with him on some drills and practices that will help get him naturally out of that habit.  Also, since it was just the two of them, she was able to quickly pick up on a few aspects of Mason’s skiing that got skipped when we were teaching him.  Like remedying the fact that he could not sidestep up the mountain by himself.  She also just picked a few key things he needed help on and kept working with him on those through play.  definitely the mark of an experienced teacher.

According to Mason all they did was have races and go on HUGE jumps (like a good fish story, the jumps get bigger each time he talks about them).  However, after skiing with him that afternoon, I could already see a difference in his skills.  His confidence had increased and his willingness to try new skills had improved.  It’s amazing how much he learned just from having someone else besides Mom and Dad help him.

So if this lesson helped so much, why go back for more?  Well this is why we are REALLY excited about this program he is in.  This week, when we go up, his teacher will know exactly what he can do and what he needs to work on.  She won’t need to spend several runs just assessing his skills.  Also, she’s already worked to develop a relationship with him and now they just get to build on it.  Last week, it took Mason until around lunchtime to finally come out of his shell and be comfortable in this new situation.  This week, I know he will be able to just jump right in.

Overall, I was really impressed with our first experience.  Everyone at the ski school was incredibly helpful and friendly.  I even had other instructors come up to me at lunch and talk to me, just because they knew that I had a son in their programs.  Also, it’s clear to see that all the teachers in his program are really experienced and great at what they do (Chloe and I were skiing by the other classes on the beginner hill most of the morning).  Plus, compared with other programs in the area, A-Basin provides amazing value.


Thanks to A-Basin for providing us a discount to put Mason in this program and being so helpful as we set this up!

Friday Fun Video: Ice Sailing

Think you need a mountain to ski?  Watch 16 year old Annie prove you wrong as she flies across the ice.

The downsides to helmets, safety precautions and cautious parenting

Ok, we are biased. We love getting outside and playing with the kids.  One big reason is that you get to act like a kid again.  Everyone would think that I’m crazy if I ran around at the McDonald’s play land on my own, but with the kids, it’s fair game.

So this may be a rehashed topic for some, but when I read about playgrounds becoming “too safe”, it rang true and the science behind what we give up by being over precautious is revealing about us as parents.

“There is no clear evidence that playground safety measures have lowered the average risk on playgrounds,” said David Ball, a professor of risk management at Middlesex University in London. He noted that the risk of some injuries, like long fractures of the arm, actually increased after the introduction of softer surfaces on playgrounds in Britain and Australia.

“This sounds counterintuitive, but it shouldn’t, because it is a common phenomenon,” Dr. Ball said. “If children and parents believe they are in an environment which is safer than it actually is, they will take more risks. An argument against softer surfacing is that children think it is safe, but because they don’t understand its properties, they overrate its performance.”

One of my friends summed it up well with a sarcastic flare, “How did the human race survive thousands of years without constantly wearing a helmet?”.

Don’t get us wrong, we do use helmets and tie our kids into harnesses, strap them into the car seat and make them look both ways before crossing the street.  We care about them and their safety.  But there are lessons to be learned in life that only come through experiencing life and we can’t protect them from everything, so we might as well help them to learn how to deal with and face as many things as we can with them during the short few years that we have with them. We like to expose them to the world in controlled environments and let them learn their own limits, encouraging their growth and

Ellen Sandseter, a professor of psychology at Queen Maud University in Norway, identifies six categories of risky play:

  • exploring heights
  • experiencing high speeds
  • handling dangerous tools
  • being near dangerous elements (like water or fire)
  • rough-and-tumble play (like wrestling)
  • wandering alone away from adult supervision.

Where else but the great outdoors will a child get exposed to these things?  Without exposure to these types of risks, we may actually be hurting our child’s development and unconsciously create phobias that can easily be overcome.

While some psychologists — and many parents — have worried that a child who suffered a bad fall would develop a fear of heights, studies have shown the opposite pattern: A child who’s hurt in a fall before the age of 9 is less likely as a teenager to have a fear of heights.

Dr. Sandseter also makes the point that “Paradoxically, we posit that our fear of children being harmed by mostly harmless injuries [i.e. a cut or a bruise] may result in more fearful children and increased levels of psychopathology.”

So we do recommend bringing the kids, because as noted below is a study done by doctors at the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center observing and interviewing daycare providers, your kids won’t get much exposure to this type of risky play at daycare. Here are a few highlights from the study:

Three-quarters of U.S. kids attend childcare at ages 3 to 5, where studies have shown that nearly all their time is spent sedentary.

Several providers mentioned pressure from parents to keep their children from getting injured, even being asked to keep a child from participating in any vigorous activity.

State inspections of playground equipment and increasingly strict licensing codes made the providers feel confident about safety, though perhaps too much so for the children’s tastes.

To keep it challenging, teachers noted that children would start to use equipment in (unsafe) ways for which it was not intended.

The bottom line: Society is driven by lawsuits, medical costs, safety and paranoia which keeps us from exposing our children to learning and growing aspects of the real world.  It is too sanitized and too safe.  So kids who grow up in these environments can develop fears instead of comforts with the six risky play behaviors.  Conversly, they may see the world as “safe” with all of the precautions we take, and when faced with a real challenge, won’t know how to react.

The outside world is the best playground. get outside, challenge yourselves and discover the world and make stronger, confident, prepared children in the process.

To see more about these trends and for additional reading you can find a New York Time’s article here and MedPage Today article here.

Photo of the Week: Snow Dreams

This winter has been DRY!  Right now, we’re all wishing for a knee deep storm…even if it is just on a toddler…