Don’t you just love it when people tell you what you can and cannot do? Argh! It’s completely infuriating and it’s been happening nonstop to me for the last several months. See, I’m pregnant with baby #3 (a boy due in May) and EVERYONE seems to know what’s best for me.
Even people who I barely know…
Like on my first Doctors appointment in the fall when I was talking with my doctor. She’d just given me the run down on pregnancy (since after having 2 other kids, I must be totally clueless) and then as I was walking out, she said “oh and of course, no skiing or snowboarding”.
I had to sit back down in my chair because I knew this would be a while “well that’s really not going to happen” I told her. She went on to explain the risks to me, which basically where that if I were to fall, I could injure the baby. I then went on to tell her that I’m a very competent skier and I would either be skiing black runs (where the likelyhood of someone else crashing into me is minimal) or I would be skiing beginner runs with few crowds with my kids. Basically, we had to agree to disagree because neither one of us was really willing to budge.
This experience has made me think a lot about knowing my own limits. I feel like I’m well aware of what I am capable of and also what I cannot do. I know where my skills and abilities lie and also when I’ve reached the point that I need to stop pushing myself so hard.
It is utterly frustrating when I see set rules that only take into account one aspect of a person’s life. Seriously, pregnancy is a big one of these. No skiing, no rides at the amusement park, no waterslides…the list could go on FOR…EV…ER. The part that’s even more frustrating is that many of these activities set no limits on if I were to take an infant on them.
The same is true on the other side of the spectrum. Just because someone says that you are allowed to do something, doesn’t mean that you should. If you are a beginning skier, jumping off a cliff is not a smart move. Sure, no one said that you can’t do it, but based on your abilities and skills, I’d argue that it might be a tad outside of your limits.
Risk and ability assessment are vital to adventure. Life is full of risks. Each of us have the right and responsibility to determine what risks are appropriate for us. In my case, being aware of my skills and also being cautious of dangerous situations that may harm the baby are incredibly important. However, that does not make me doomed to walk around the block as my only means of physical activity for the next 4 months.
This is equally important as we take our kids on adventures. Knowing, what we can and cannot do within our own limits, is essential. Pushing our limits too far, can easily create a disaster with our children being put at risk.
Don’t get me wrong. I understand perfectly why there are ‘rules’ about who can and cannot do something. I’m just saying that along with there are some things that are “more like guidelines”, or exceptions to the rules based on ability, skill, and experience.
I know my limits, so please, let me decide what I want to do.